This Is What Happy Looks Like Read online

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  To Mom, with love

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:18 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: (no subject)

  Hey, we’re running pretty behind here. Any chance you could walk Wilbur for me tonight?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:24 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I think you have the wrong e-mail address. But since I’m a dog owner too, and I don’t want poor Wilbur to be stranded, I thought I’d write back and let you know…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:33 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Ah, sorry about that. New phone, so I’m typing in the address. Looks like I forgot a number. Wilbur and I both thank you. (And by the way, he’s actually a pig.)

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:34 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  A pig! What kind of pig goes for walks?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:36 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  The very sophisticated kind. He even has his own leash…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:42 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Some pig!

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:45 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Oh, yeah. He’s terrific! Radiant! Humble!

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:47 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Wow, a pig owner and a fan of Charlotte’s Web. You must be either a farmer or a librarian.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:01 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I dabble in both.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:03 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Seriously?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:04 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  No. Not seriously. What about you?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:05 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I’m neither a farmer nor a librarian.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:11 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Let me guess then. You’re an underemployed dogwalker who’s been sitting by the computer in the hope that someone might ask you to walk something more exciting than a poodle?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:12 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Bingo. Guess this is my lucky day…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:13 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Really, though. What’s your deal?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:14 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  … asks the random stranger from the Internet.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:15 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  … says the girl who’s still writing back.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:17 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  How do you know I’m a girl?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:18 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Easy. You quoted Charlotte’s Web.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:19 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  So did you!

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:24 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Yeah, but my parents are teachers.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:26 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  So does that mean you’re not a girl?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:27 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Nope. Not a girl.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:31 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Does that mean you’re a creepy old Internet predator using your pet pig as an excuse to stalk 16-year-old girls?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:33 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Busted.

  No, I’m only seventeen, which I think lands me pretty solidly outside of creepy-old-man territory.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:38 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Fair enough. Though, unfortunately, I’m still not available to walk Wilbur tonight. And even if I was, you’d probably have to find someone a little bit closer, since I doubt you live anywhere near me.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:39 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  How do you know?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:40 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I’m from Middle-of-Nowhere, Maine.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:42 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Oh, then I guess you’re right. I’m from Middle-of-Everything, California.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:43 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Lucky duck.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:44 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Lucky pig, actually.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:48 PM

  To: [email protected]

&nbs
p; Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Right! Hey, weren’t you running behind with something?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:51 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Yeah, I should probably be getting back to it…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:55 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Okay. Nice talking to you. And sorry I couldn’t come through for Wilbur.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:57 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  He’ll forgive you, I’m sure. He’s a very magnanimous pig.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Thursday, March 7, 2013 11:58 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I’m relieved to hear that.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:01 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Hey, E?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:02 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Yes… G?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:03 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  What if I e-mail you again tomorrow?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:04 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I don’t know. I’m not exactly in the habit of trolling the Internet for pen pals…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:05 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  But?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:07 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  But I’m also terrible at good-byes.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:08 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Okay then. I’ll just say hello again instead.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:09 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I like that better. And I’ll say: Good morning!

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:10 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  But it’s not morning…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:12 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  It is in Maine.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:13 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Ah, right. Then: Howdy!

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:14 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  How very western of you. Greetings!

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:15 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Are you an alien invader? Ni hao.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:17 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  You definitely just looked that one up.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:19 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  You don’t think I’m proficient in Chinese?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:20 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I do not.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:21 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Fair enough. Then, salutations! (That one was from Wilbur, of course.)

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:24 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Of course. Until tomorrow…

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:25 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Wait, is that your way of saying good-bye without really saying good-bye?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:27 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  No. Actually, I’m not sure I’m quite finished saying hello yet.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:30 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Me neither. Hello.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:31 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Hi.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:33 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Good morning.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:34 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  I already said that one.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Friday, March 8, 2013 12:36 AM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: (no subject)

  Yeah, but it really is.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 12:42 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: hi

  Don’t you hate it when people use smiley faces in their e-mails?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 12:59 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: not really

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 1:04 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: not really

  I’m going to ignore that.

  I read once that in Russia, they usually end the salutation of a letter with an exclamation point. Isn’t that funny? It must always seem like they’re shouting at each other. Or that they’re really surprised to find themselves in touch.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 1:07 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: not a chance

  Or maybe they’re just really happy to be writing to that person…

  Like I am: !

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 1:11 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: not a chance

  Well, thank you. But that’s not what happy looks like.

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Saturday, June 8, 2013 1:12 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: not a chance

  What does it look like, then?

  From: [email protected]

  Sent: Sat
urday, June 8, 2013 1:18 PM

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: what happy looks like

  Sunrises over the harbor. Ice cream on a hot day. The sound of the waves down the street. The way my dog curls up next to me on the couch. Evening strolls. Great movies. Thunderstorms. A good cheeseburger. Fridays. Saturdays. Wednesdays, even. Sticking your toes in the water. Pajama pants. Flip-flops. Swimming. Poetry. The absence of smiley faces in an e-mail.

  What does it look like to you?

  It was not all that different from the circus, and it came to town in much the same way. Only instead of elephants and giraffes, there were cameras and microphones. Instead of clowns and cages and tightropes, there were production assistants and trailers and yards upon yards of thick cables.

  There was a sense of magic in the way it appeared as if from nowhere, cropping up so quickly that even those who had been expecting it were taken by surprise. And as the people of Henley showed up to watch, even the most jaded members of the film crew couldn’t help feeling a slight shiver of anticipation, a low current of electricity that seemed to pulse through the town. They were used to filming in locations like Los Angeles and New York, cities where the locals gave them a wide berth, grumbling about the traffic and the disappearance of parking spots, shaking their heads at the huge lights that snuffed out the darkness. There were places in the world where a movie shoot was nothing more than a nuisance, a bothersome interruption of real life.

  But Henley, Maine, was not one of them.

  It was June, so the crowds that had gathered to watch the men unload the trucks were fairly large. The size of the town rose and fell like the tides. Through the winter, the full-timers rattled around the empty shops, bundled against the frost coming off the water. But as soon as summer rolled around, the population swelled to four or five times its usual size, a stream of tourists once again filling the gift shops and cottages and B&Bs that lined the coast. Henley was like a great hibernating bear, dozing through the long winters before coming back to life again at the same time each year.